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French Flag

The French Flag. Or, due to the frogs in their throat and incapability to pronounce that, Le Drapeau Français

The Frenchies, based west of Doucheland and in France (capital is Paris), appears in all Civ and Colonization games and are ready to surrender at any situation. France is also south of the Isle of Tea and northeast of Spain and above the Imperialists.

History Edit

Early France (? - 987) Edit

The history of France is long and boring, so have a cup of French wine or French champagne. It starts with cavemen roaming Europe, having nothing else to do. They settled near France, or in France, or in the Alps, whatever. They became known as "Gauls". Later, some Imperialistic Christians turned them into Christians. After the un-edible inevitable collapse of the Romans, some shit happened in France, and the Franks were found to be next rulers of France.

Middle Ages (987 - 1453) Edit

France at this time was a middle-aged drunk bastard, waging "holy" wars and hating on island folk and the Span-nerds.

Trade Edit

French had trade since...your mom lost her virginity...long, long time ago. French people offer wine(obviously). Though after the first import of wine to your own private wine storage place, wine gets old, and France doesn't want to export anything else, so bloodthirsty you will declare war on France. Other than wine, though, France has some coal, iron(low grade crap type of iron), and bits of Cancer moles. It also has high-quality of soil and has lots of food, but since food can't be exported in the Civilization games, it isn't worth shit in trade.

Production Edit

Frenchie Army

Don't worry, enemies of France, these are just actors.

France spends most of its productivity on obsolete walls, FagMaginot Line, French flags, and wine cellars. It can't possibly change its production in time to stop an invasion, and if it does, the French will riot and kill its current leader just like they did in the French Revolution.

Culture Edit

France's culture rapes nearby foreign borders because of its fine history, culture, and wine. Enough said.

Growth Edit

The growth in France is quite adequate. Its current army is made of musketeers, its navy is a bunch of wooden ships of the line(the word line clearly states that France has one of the finest navies in the world). The top French scientists are currently researching for a more efficient way to research technologies.

Military Edit

French Musketeer

The average, ugly French Musketeer.

France has one of the crappiest army in the world. It's military consists of 40 missiles, 2 non-working tanks, 450 infantry, 15 cannons, and 750,000 Musketeers. This kind of army is equipped for any situation like surrendering, jumping over not-so great walls and then surrendering, and defending. The military may been adequate around the 1700's and earlier, but the French just don't know how to adapt. So, after the American Revolutionary War, the French kept losing a lot of battles. Napolean got defeated, some WW1 French leader almost got defeated, and the WW2 French leader just got embarrassed as the Nazis advanced France. Today, when there's no important war happening, the French can sit back, relax, drink some wine, and wake up without all of France being conquered.

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