Europe, also known as Europa and other dumb names, is home to about 49 countries. Though, only 8 countries(Briton Land, Spain, France, Doucheland, Finland, Italy, Grease-Land, and the Motherland) out of those 49 countries appeared in Civilization IV, because Europe sucks and doesn't need more representatives. There, of course, are more countries available in Civilization IV: Beyond the Ignorance, which are the Damn Dutch, Portland, Empire with funny name, and the Unholy Roman Empire. Europe is also home of many barbarians, warlords, and Nazis. Europe is very unfriendly which is why both world wars started in Europe, but that is also why the history of Europe isn't as boring as most Asian country histories.

History of Europe Edit

Ancient Times Edit

Many people wonder...well, not many people give a bucket of shit for the history of Europe, but that makes them ignorant. The history of Europe started when some cavemen called Neanderthals(not to be confused with the Netherlands) came in from a long walk from Africa or Asia or an other god-damned place scientists say people originated from. The Neanderthals were doomed from the start, and when the Cro-Magnons came, they were all wiped out. Europe showed the world that it was going to be the most superior continent with 2,744 tribes on it constantly fighting each other for land. It even sent messengers to other continents to spread the word of the birth of a soon-to-be a superior continent. Though, when the African and Asian villagers saw a naked European screaming in a weird language and pointing northwest, they just killed the European and began consuming his flesh as they had a early custom to eat morons for better health.

Classical Times Edit

There was a Greek Empire and a Roman Empire. No one cared for the Roman "Empire" because they only had one city. The real empire was the Greek Empire who controlled all of Greece, some islands, and most of Turkey where the Greeks got from the humble Persian Kingdom(they got their Persian asses beaten). The Greeks flourished and created Democracy, Philosophy. The Greeks got pissed that they weren't the ones to research Philosophy first and get Taoism, so they disbanded their empire. After the Greek did that, Romans started conquering all of Europe and parts of North Africa and owned Carthage. The Romans then had a golden empire and began to smoke opium and drink wine. When the party ended, the Romans found out that their empire split into two small empires and that the Eastern part was conquered by barbarians. This signified the end of the Roman Empire, starting the Dumb Age.

Christianity Times Edit

Many wonderful thing happened in this era, like Christianity, chivalry, and ignorance. The French were now unified, and the English were conquering all of the island they were on. The Germans were now unified with the ex-Roman Empire, creating the Douche-Romaen Land, commonly referred as the Unholy Roman Empire. The French, Spanish, and English kept constantly attacking each other. Though, they'll never know Germany will join their battles and almost own them then lose.... Anyway, the Unholy Ones(Germans/Romans) were plotting to stop the from fighting, so they said that the Holy City(Jerusalem) was captured by the Infidels. The French, English, and Spanish still fought against each other though they mostly focused on getting the Holy City back. The Byzantium Empire(Greece, Turkey, and parts of Russia) also helped fight against the Infidels. Also, out of nowhere, Russia started fighting the Infidels, too. You might say 6 empires against one is unfair, but the holy might says not. After many crusades, they captured Jerusalem and Spain, France, and English started attacking each other again. There was a new person fighting, too. It was the Bloody Dutch and the Portuguese, though they do much damage. After some years, the Renaissance started to happen in Italy.

Guns & Colonies Era Edit

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